Oxymoron: "Bangalore infrastructure" is an oxymoron. There aint no such thing as Bangalore infrastructure. Theres Bangalore, theres infrastructure, but theres no intersection between the two.
Pathetic: Usually used in the context of roads. Congratulations! This means, you have a road. This means that you are driving on something that is mostly a potholed, breaking maze of asphalt punctuated by feetwide hillocks every few metres. These stretches are also known and regarded as highways by Bangalore drivers.
Speedbreakers: The smoothest part of a "pathetic" "road". (They are also hillocks on pathetic roads. See "pathetic")
Non existent: Again used in the context of roads. When vehicles drive over unsurfaced pathways of red mud, they are called non existent roads. There are infinite varieties of non existent roads in Bangalore. The kind that appear in advertisements for SUV's. (Factoid: Bangalore has the highest number of SUV testing going on at any point in time. Rumours have it that many new SUV plants are being set up here because they dont have to invest in testing tracks.)
Flyovers: Works of art that appear, usually over signals on busy roads. Traffic has been slowed down in these parts ( yes, slower than the already slow traffic in other parts of the city) so that people spend time appreciating the beauty of this art.
Potholes: Lakes that appear intermittently on some pathways (roads of the category pathetic and non existent). Some of the bigger potholes can be used for swimming and boating.
Rain: Anything that leaks from a car is rain. A glass of water can bring the city to a standstill. A glass of water (5 cms of rain) can cause traffic jams, power cuts and water logging.
Electricity: That thing which happens between two power cuts that causes fans to stop and start running, which were otherwise running peacefully on a diesel powered generator.
Greenery: Green paint seen on the outside of houses in civilian areas. Classified as moss, grass on walls and small plants in pots. There is a move to classify plastic plants as greenery (which could mutiply greenery here). On roads and military areas, greenery means lovely big shade offering trees. (Factoid: Udyan express (which runs between Bombay and Bangalore) might soon be renamed Concrete express)
Sunday, July 31, 2005
Posted by ecophilo at 11:50 AM