Wednesday, July 20, 2011

MICE - proposal for a new ministry

A new ministry will be formed shortly when the future prime minister of India takes office. This ministry will have the largest manpower under it. Obviously, since this ministry will presumably do most of the work in the new future cabinet of the future prime minister.

The future prime minister of India will have no time for thinking or thinking through. Therefore, this ministry will take care of everything thats left behind in the trail of verbal destruction that could potentially accompany the FPM. As soon as any impromptu press conference or off the cuff remark is found, it will be traced, erased and rebuilt to the correct specifications of the day. This ministy, apart from impromptu press conferences (which will be rarer than white crows) and remarks will also work on soundbytes taken from here and there. It will also, if necessary, edit historical material which has been references in such quotes.

The motto of the ministry will be to "prevent distortions just because FPM said something."

Thus the ministry's large staff will be dedicated to telling us, the unwashed masses, something on the lines of "what FPM said was this, what he was meant was this, but he used the wrong words for saying so "

For every such conferene, expect newer books to be published around the lines of the new meaning of words and the new twist in the and some such. For now, the private sector is doing the job.

You obviously guessed what MICE is, did you not? Ministry of Instant Correction and Edits.

Manmohan Singham

Link via Ramesh Srivats



Superb video Singham spoofed with the man thinks he is charge, but she who is in charge shall go unnamed. Watch it, if you havent already.

While it is obviously satire, it is a sad state that we live in today - governance deficit, leadership deficit and all that. But dont let that spoil your day. Do watch it...

The situation today is precisely like the well known scene of  "The Emperors new clothes". We all know how the emperor is clothed, but the media is not telling us - so we have to depend on little children, alternative media to tell us as it is...Chalo, koi to hai

Friday, July 15, 2011

On spiriting the spirit

I really do salute your spirit - and no I am not referring to the Mumbaikars spirit. I am referring to the terrorists spirit and resilience. If we are glorifying the city which has been attacked multiple times we really must glorify the spirit of those terrorists also no?

Those who despite being threat of being killed in encounters (add fake if you like), despite the governments eyes and ears on them watching their every move still continue to plot hate and slaughter innocents -surely they have spirit too? Awesome spirit no?

Sarcastic? In bad taste? Offended? Thats exactly how I feel when all these stupid people write about Mumbais spirit and use it as a cover for poor policing, poor intelligence and general incompetence year on year for each year since 1993.

All of you idiots who wrote about Mumbais undying spirit, remember that it is not spirit - it is helplessness (as I have argued more than once before). People helping fellow people happens in all types of tragedies - check tsunami, earthquake or any other. Let us not glorify the spirit of the people behind it at the cost of their lives. Spirit my foot. When I am dead, what use is my f*king spirit? I would rather have a spirited fight with those terrorists - their trainers, their funders, those who harbour them and those who feed them - and win. Thats spirit. Losing and losing my and my loved ones lives aint no spirit for me. Sorry folks. You can shove those candles into you know where and light them up for good measure.

Frankly the Mumbai spirit is no losing spirit. It is the spirit that gives back in good measure what it gets. If the Mumbaikar gets slaughtered, you can be sure that he will get his revenge in the end. True Mumbaikars are no losers - those who talk about the cities spirit please remember - it is a winning spirit. The same sportsmanlike spirit we see in Tendulkar, but behind that sportsman spirit is the winning spirit. The Mumbaikar spirit is a winning spirit. Tell me about the Mumbaikar spirit when we bust those bastard terror modules in Mumbai and wanting to attack Mumbai. 

Please get the encounter specialists back. In my books, they kill far less innocents (if at all they do) than these blasts and terrorists.

Intelligence or what?

Could the Mumbai terror attack have been averted? Surely yes, if you ask me, if the government wanted it to be halted. (I assume here that our intelligence is clued into the nefarious activities going on - I could be wrong).

When I say, if the government wanted to halt it, I dont mean that the government sanctions the wanton slaughter of its citizens, even though on the face of it thats how it seems. But step into the shoes of an "intelligence officer" and think from his perspective. If you were in a job like his, like all human beings, you will act on the incentives that are given to you.

The last time the police had actionable intelligence which resulted in the death of an officer and a couple of terrorists - the entire set of people responsible for it have been hauled over the coals for it. (Remember it or forgot it already - in any case there is a wikipedia page for it) Clearly, proactiveness in intelligence is a CLM.

So, as an intelligence officer what would you do supposing you hear chatter about an upcoming terror attack - in general you would do nothing. Because if you did, the media and the civil society would come down on you with all their might and nobody wants to be on the receiving side of their wrath no, given that the government is on their side?

Therefore, in the current situation, no intelligence officer unless he is well provided for, will make the mistake of putting his family at stake - clearly the government is not incentivising the collection of intelligence and stopping an attack. On the other hand, if a bomb blast does happen, there is no loss of career nor any danger to anbody.

So, unless there is some form of incentive to stop terror attacks, these are likely to continue notwithstanding the pronouncements of the articulate and the savvy. On the other hand, your future prime minister has already said that terrorist attacks cannot be prevented. As a career savvy officer, this would be music to my ears and sounds like the direction of the incentive I mentioned...